I've never been a great writer, a creative writer at least. Oh, I liked legal writing. It was structured and formulaic. But the writing I've been doing this past year is anything but. It is raw. It is painful at times.
When Case was diagnosed, and then when he was to enter the clinical trial, I felt like God set tasks before me of creating Case's blog and writing posts that I was wholly unqualified to do. But God was certainly qualified when I called on Him. "When I called, you answered me; you greatly emboldened me." Psalm 138:3.
Just Friday, the painful side of writing became clearly evident. I wrote about a video of a family in the year after the loss of their son to Hunter Syndrome.
But did I really write it?
I think the answer is clearly no. And here's why.
About a month ago, a friend told me about a video, a powerful video, of a family who had lost their son. I asked her how to find it, but she said it wasn't easy to find on YouTube since it wasn't tagged with Hunter Syndrome or Mucpolysaccharidosis. I let it go.
Then about two weeks ago, a did a random search of "Hunter Syndrome" to see what would come up. I scrolled through a few pages and stumbled upon the blog of a mom who talked about meeting a Hunter Syndrome mom at the park. She embedded the very video my friend mentioned.
I watched it.
I felt compelled to write and the words just poured out.
I knew that I needed to watch the video again to finish writing the post, but I just couldn't. I could feel the powerful emotions inside about the potential loss of my son and I just had to set it aside.
It sat there for over a week but I knew I wanted to finish it before MPS Awareness Day (May 15th) so I thought it would be good if I finished it by Friday so it would be there over the weekend before.
That was the extent of my consideration on the timing.
I needed a picture of kites so I picked one that had two, including a pirate kite like the one in the video.
Oh, I am so feeble minded.
Here is what God did with that feeble post.
He knew that Sunday, today, was Mother's Day.
He knew that mothers who had lost a child might need that gentle reminder that they and their child are remembered and loved by so many. He knew Brigham, the wonderful boy from the video, had passed on May 15th in 2009. May 15th.
I never picked up on the timing of those events the entire time until after I posted. Yes, I can be that thick.
He knew that the picture of the two kites showed the intersection, the battle, the struggle between life and death.
I knew that the title just wasn't right, but I had titled it at the very beginning and you usually go with your gut. But God knew it wasn't about the kites.
It was about the flying.
God is the writer. I am just a vessel.
Paul said it best, and I certainly don't pretend to be on a level with him, but I would make the same request: "Pray also for me, that whenever I speak, words may be given me so that I will fearlessly make known the mystery of the gospel." Ephesians 6:19. Well said Paul. I think we may have had the same writer.