I often say that I wouldn't wish MPS on anyone else. The heartache, the initial despair, the sorrow that somehow something you did brought this horror on your family, the gut wrenching sobbing that makes you throw up before you ever get a normal breath back.
No. Of course I wouldn't wish that on anyone.
But when balanced against the blessings and miracles and wonderful people that MPS brings, then again, maybe I would.
If I could reorder our world, would I create it any differently?
No, I would not.
Because I now realize that it took all this for me to realize how truly blessed I am. How blessed I was. How blessed I will be.
Maybe for others it doesn't take MPS ... it might take something different. And I think when God allows us to come to that place, we really decide what we believe.
I wouldn't go back to the old life if you paid me. It is too refreshing to wake up every morning and just be thankful I took a breath, that my husband and children awoke, and that God loves even me.
I am reminded of the words to one of my favorite songs - Blessings by Laura Story
We pray for blessings, we pray for peace
Comfort for family, protection while we sleep
We pray for healing, for prosperity
We pray for Your mighty hand to ease our suffering
And all the while, You hear each spoken need
Yet love us way too much to give us lesser things
Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You’re near
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise?
We pray for wisdom, Your voice to hear
And we cry in anger when we cannot feel you near
We doubt your goodness, we doubt your love
As if each promise from Your Word is not enough
And all the while, You hear each desperate plea
And long that we’d have faith to believe
When friends betray us
When darkness seems to win, we know
That pain reminds this hearts,
That this is not, this is not our home…..
What if my greatest disappointments,
Or the aching of this life,
Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can’t satisfy.
What if trials of this life,
The rain, the storms, the hardest nights
Are your mercies in disguise?